Hey guys, Chris here again to review Smackdown this week. Strange times in the world
and strange times in wrestling as we get another empty arena show heading towards Wrestlemania 36. Can WWE build the hype and distract us from our zombie(ish) apocolypse? Let's see...
- Standard WWE opening show promo as the contenders for the women's title 5-pack challenge at Mania intermittently enter after champ Bayley and her mate Sasha Banks open. The arena already feels more intimate with no seats and looks a lot better than previous weeks for it. Bayley delivers the first of many 'This Mania is too big for one night' adverts. Sasha teases she might turn on her mate before Lacey Evans, Naomi and Tamina enter and the quintuplet trade some humerous barbs before the latter cleans house and the heels run away.
Not a bad start, pretty funny promo overall with Sasha's mimicking of Lacey's daughter crying because her 'Mommy is such a loser' being the highlight. 'Why do you always have to lose Mommy??'.
- It's Daniel Bryan and Sami Zayn's respective avatars facing off next, as we get Drew Gulak vs Shinsike Nakamura to see if Bryan will get a shot at Zayn's IC title at Wrestlemania. It's a short, ok match as everyone feels like their talent is getting a little wasted (except maybe Gulak, he seems limited here). Nakamura, or Naka, is a cut above his Daniel Bryan-lite opponent with nice moves and selling but winds up losing to the always devastating roll-up.
No one here comes off great. Bryan and Zayn have to watch on helplessly as their fate is settled by others. Naka and Gulak are props, an ingredient in the recipe of another's battle. And WHAT is Cesaro doing on the outside? So sad, he's a prop for the props!.
All in all a slightly puzzling means to and end. However, that end is Bryan/Zayn at Mania for IC title so HOORAY! Should be a great match.
- Lots of recapping and stalling (a theme for the show as a whole), before a 'let's poke fun at the fat guy' routine with Otis and Ziggler. They schmoz and set up a Mania match. Meh.
- Elias up on a podium now to take the piss out of King Corbin (just for a change!) with an actually funny song showing his face on toilet roll (how current) and sat on his 'throne' aka the toilet itself. Corbin surprises him, puts on a beatdown and we suddenly get a Mufasa/Scar style set up as 'Lion King' Corbin has Elias dangling off the edge off the podium and of course chucks him off (Long live the King.....AHHHHHHHHH!'). With Elias surely either seriously injured or perhaps dead, 'Lion King' Corbin poses as out there somewhere, Elias' infant son Simba swears revenge.
See you in a boneyard match at Wrestlemania 50 Corbin.
- Asuka vs Alexa Bliss is our second match and I'm actually looking forward to it until Nikki 'Car Crash' Cross takes over commentary and then everything else. The match has a nice pace and is hard-hitting but can't overshadow Cross' manic calling of the match. What is she on? (She tells us later, a lot of caffeine). As an audience we ride her rollercoaster as she starts off really annoying before going so far over the top she actually becomes good and fun to watch. Like a car crash, you just can't look away.
Sitting, standing and screaming over the announce table, there's no denying her loyalty to Bliss and at the same time, Michael Cole's level of uncomfortable (oh how he would like to enforce social distancing now). But it's surprisingly fun to watch. At any moment you feel a Mel Gibson 'Braveheart' style speech coming. You can't fault her enthusiasm, even if she does come across like a super-mark Bliss fan who's been the only one allowed in and invaded the show.
Asuka looks great as always before succumbing to a strong DDT from Bliss to set up a Kabuki warriors vs Bliss/Cross tag title match at Mania. This was ALLLLLLLL about 'Car Crash' Cross though. A little like 'Marmite' Matt Hardy in AEW, she'll divide those watching but for me she made this actually easy to watch and very god damn entertaining. Even if I do now need a lie down.
- Triple H/Roman Reigns replay from Mania 32. Skip.
Promo by H' to set up Reigns/Goldberg after. It's not happening now though so...skip!
- Firefly Funhouse up next, don't skip! Great characterisation by Wyatt as ever as he does his kids presenter routine blending a mixture of what its gonna take to defeat John Cena at Mania. Rage and resentment are just two such ingredients as the dark subject matter mixed with Wyatt's super friendly persona are more disturbing and intriguing than anything WWE can usually blend. His accelerated enthusiasm drinking his special mix to win a big match reminded Ruth of Hulk Hogan taking his vitamins in his prime. If Hogan was mixed with Jake 'The Snake' Roberts this promo is probably what you'd get.
He blends his puppet and drinks it before challenging Cena to a 'Firefly Funhouse' match. The joyfulness of a kids entertainer suddenly drains and he turns chilling on a dime as we see a snippet of the 'Fiend' to end. Great promo as usual by still one of the best things in WWE today Bray Wyatt. Charisma, happy energy and a foreboding killer all wrapped into one. Nothing like him. Please beat Cena this time!
- Main Event Time - Uso's vs New day. Winner faces Tag Champs Miz/Morrison for titles at (you guessed it) Wrestlemania. Miz and Morrison show up to commentate and the New Day do their usual schtick before hitting Morrison in the face with a pancake, knocking his headset off! Small thing but still great.
Two teams proceed to have an ok match hitting some nice big moves like a Big E splash on apron and an Uso's double slam to E. The two teams, as noted in their respective promos earlier, have faced each other many times before and it feels a little old hat. A major seen it all before vibe causing me to zone out before being brought back in by Miz and Morrison's awesome sarcastic chants on commentary. 'Fight Forever!' and 'This is Awesome.....sort of' hilariously bringing me back in before the two get involved and cause a DQ finish leading to all three teams facing off at Mania in a three-way ladder match.
Ok, pretty forgettable, and ultimately pointless in ring action saved by great heel work on commentary. Shame to see Kofi back in his same old spot after his WWE title win last year. Big E has outgrown this tag team spot too. Uso's, still a good team but need a fresh start (plenty of great tag teams in AEW who they could work with...just saying). End of show with Miz and Morrison beat down.
3 Count (3 points of recommendation)
1. Asuka/Bliss = hard-hitting and chaotic but OMG Nikki 'Car crash' Cross needs to be seen and heard to be believed. Wow.
2. Firefly Funhouse Promo - Wyatt on top form.
3. 'Lion King' Corbin hilariously throwing Elias' Mufasa to his death. Circle of Life I guess.
Ring the Bell (Show recommendation)
This week's Smackdown is definitely not essential viewing and is basically a show with a few fun matches and skits to set up the Mania undercard. However, if it is filler, it's fun filler, and if, like the theme song says, you're looking for a 'good time', this show was a laugh in places and an easy, pretty entertaining watch. If you want a light distraction in these uncertain times, this show will do the job nicely.
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